Am I the only person that finds that in the day and age of reality television and social media, we’re surrounded by more inauthenticity than ever before?
It wasn’t that long ago that we didn’t always hear the quiet din of our friends’ and family’s social media highlight reels. And many of us were comfortably distant from the ideal lives portrayed on reality television simply because reality TV didn’t exist! It sometimes feels like we’re surrounded by more noise than ever…and with that noise comes even MORE expectations.
While the online world has improved all of our lives it came with the addition of further reinforcing societal expectations that aren’t always grounded in your personal reality.
So sometimes, if you’re dealing with problems and issues in your life (and really, who isn’t?) going online and reading self-help books doesn’t actually help. In fact, it can make you feel worse about your situation.
We go online to find information and resources to solve our problems, not to feel worse about ourselves! So what’s a beleaguered mom and wife to do when searching for solutions, and avoiding judgment?
Below are my practical, totally useable tips for dealing with life’s curveballs:
- Don’t just sign up for any online Facebook support group. Find a group of people who are at the same place you are in life.
Sometimes we receive valuable and helpful information when we ask our friends, family, and online support groups for help. But since your time is valuable and you probably don’t have enough of it to begin with, be sure you’re asking the right people the right question. If you’re trying to figure out if your aging or sick parents should no longer live by themselves, the “Breastfeeding Mothers Only” Facebook group isn’t going to be that helpful!
- Get support from someone skilled in helping people navigate life
If you’re dealing with a career move or trying to work from home while still earning a decent income and being available to your family, there are professionals who help with those problems. Similarly, there are professionals such as family therapists that can help heal a family when a child has a mental illness or when a family tragedy such as the loss of a child had occurred.
Never underestimate the power of paying someone to support you and provide perspective as you navigate big issues. Paid pros can sometimes think of the obstacles that await you, therefore clearing the path for the opportunity and good decision-making, so you don’t get sidetracked.
- Don’t totally discount self-help books or following gurus on social media. Just be really selective about who you look to for advice.
There are SO MANY gurus you can follow online or look to for advice. And a lot of them have books that are supposed to solve all of your problems ; ) It can be super helpful to see how these people make decisions and follow through. But a 28-year old life coach who’s in the 7-figures and just had her first baby may not be so helpful for you. Again, I recommend looking for the figurehead that’s dealt with some of the same obstacles and problems you have…and successfully come out the other side.
While every mother, wife, and family is unique and their circumstances and problems are also unique, it can be very helpful to learn how others have handled similar problems.
- Never forget the wisdom of your own counsel
Solving problems like being burned out or dealing with marital issues isn’t easy. It requires creative problem-solving and a unique insider’s view. Sometimes we struggle with solving personal problems because we’re also taking into account everyone else’s expectations of us. There might be a unique way to solve the issue of not being available to the family, but your parents and in-laws may not agree with the idea of working from home so you can have schedule freedom. That’s ok…it all comes down to expectations. If they expect you to keep supporting your family, there are different ways to do that…it just might not look like what they expect it to!
Ultimately, it’s up to you to identify how best to be there for your family in a career/business that you love…and only YOU know what that might look like. Don’t waste too much time on other people’s expectations of you. Instead, handle your responsibilities and figure out your plan.
How do you problem solve so you can live your best life? Tell me in the comments!