When Life Isn’t Fair – And Not What You Expected

When you learn to accept instead of expect, you’ll have fewer disappointments.” ~ author unknown

Shut the front door. 

Sister, that right there should stop you in your tracks faster than a midnight hot flash snaps you from slumber. 

When faced with life’s challenges, it’s so easy (and natural) to venture down that self-pity path of “Why me… why am I the one dealing with this? It’s not supposed to be this way. This isn’t fair.” (*bonus tip – “Fair” is really just a place they put ribbons on pigs.)

2020 is real-time proof that we have about as much control over what happens in this universe as one has over their bowels the day before a colonoscopy. 

$%it’s gonna happen. That’s life.

What if I told you that life and the piles of poo (there seems to be a “running” theme here) it throws at you is not the problem

It’s unrealistic expectations that keep you in a rut of disappointment.

When there is tension between our expectations and reality, we are destined for disappointment. 

We create this ideal picture in our head of what life is supposed to be like. Then when life goes all kamikaze on us, we become disappointed, frustrated, angry, and even hopeless.

Now, please don’t misunderstand me. These emotions are a normal response to adversity, but sister, it is neither helpful nor productive to live there long term.

The only way to redirect these emotions (after you’ve had your moment, of course) is to face that giant head-on, accept the fact that life looks different from what you had expected, and adjust accordingly.

In no way am I suggesting that you move through life “commando-style” with no expectations (that’s just stupid… and dangerous). But what I am saying is that you need to be prepared and willing to adjust your ideals when life looks different from what you had planned.

Stepping back and assessing your circumstance will give you the opportunity for a different perspective. 

When our expectations are shattered, we naturally hone in on the gaps where reality has failed to meet our expectations; focusing on what is not there and ignoring what is good. 

Sister, when you can’t change your world, try changing your focus. Look for what is good (I promise you there’s good to uncover) and adjust accordingly. 

Once you accept the reality you weren’t expecting, you find that you can make decisions and take action that will move you toward the place you want to be. You will get over living like a victim of your circumstances and start thriving like the captain of your own ship.

Does this mean you will get everything you want? Ah, heck no. You and I both know that will never be a reality for anyone. 

But being able to accept the constant ebb and flow of life does mean that you will be prepared to deal with adversity and avoid getting stuck there. 

The next time you are faced with a reality not recorded in your planner or pasted on your vision board, ask yourself these questions:

  • What is the outcome(s) I desire?

  • What do I know to be true?

  • What actions can I take that will move me toward my desired outcome(s)?

Sister, as cliche’, as it may sound, we are all in this together. So, my team and I have been working behind the scenes to create a year of real life, practical application training just for YOU.

We will cover everything from how to plan all the things (from menus to master plans) to how to move forward through the chaos and noise of everyday life. And, of course, self-care is gonna work its way in there, too. 

Subscribe to my newsletter right here (three full scroll downs and you’re there) for updates on all of the goodness we have planned for you.

Until then, Happy NEW (thank you, Jesus) Year. 

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