You finally got that promotion at work… but your “inside voice” says, “I was probably the only option.”
You’re preparing to speak to a group of moms with some advice about parenting through the teenage years… yet you’re certain they already know what a hopeless mother you are (because sister, they’ve seen your kid on a Friday night).
You score a big win in your business… and then you tell yourself it was a fluke that the client even found you in the first place.
After being a stay-at-home-mom for 20 years, you’re eager to pursue that dream career… but then you melt that dream into a puddle of all the reasons you are ill-equipped to succeed in this season of life. You’ve “just been a mom” for like… forever.
As a woman, then this self-sabotaging behavior I portrayed in the scenarios above is no stranger to your table. Imposter Syndrome… what a freakin’ bully.
This poser shows up as a self-doubting behavior that says you are undeserving of the success you either have or could have.
Despite the evidence of your accomplishments showing that you are more than competent, Imposter Syndrome causes you to internalize a fear that you will be “found out” or exposed as a fraud.
Girl, I am about as familiar with this crap show as I am with the grey hair on my head. I know what it’s like to second guess yourself, to whitewash your accomplishments, and to doubt whether you are good or smart enough for the opportunities presented to you. Oh, do I know.
Along with his deception, this imposter syndrome show-off brings lots of negative side effects to the table.
It discourages you from asking for help and convinces you to turn down new opportunities. It persuades you to avoid feedback and criticism (even the well-intended kind) and manipulates you down a path of depression and anxiety.
The really obnoxious thing about this kind of stinkin’ thinkin’ is that it can have you feeling so upside down in a barrel and make it extremely difficult to seek support.
When you find yourself in this place, don’t foster that imposter. Instead, confront those fraudulent feelings head-on.
Find a mentor or a safe peer group you can share your feelings with.
Make a list of your achievements, skills, and successes to remind you that you do have value to offer the world.
Find a tribe who will give you authentic feedback that validates your efforts and results.
Then, tap into the heart of your internal wisdom and hone in on what you know to be true.
- Think of someone in your life who is very confident (friend, hero, etc.). How would they respond?
- If you knew for certain that everything would work out, how would your perspective change?
- Is there anything you haven’t considered yet?
- What type of thinking would get you closer to your goals?
- How have you handled a similar situation?
- What can you learn from this?
Positioning yourself in this way can turn this limiting and defeating belief into something that will work for you, not against you.
Instead of letting Imposter Syndrome dominate as the abusive, life-sucking phenomena it tries to be, flip its agenda into something positive and use it as a gauge to check yourself.
Feeling fraudulent is an indicator you are being challenged. And being challenged is when we have the greatest potential to make the biggest impact.
You wanna know the truth? We’re all just wingin’ it. But those who wing it the best are doing so because they know they’re wingin’ it.
In this life, this relationship, this job, this business, you are worthy. You are better than you think you are. You are smarter than you give yourself credit. You know more than you think you do.
Remember that… and go wing it like only you can do, sister.
If you could use an extra prod… or two, with a side of genuine compassion and authentic motivation, I got you.
I have a 4 part workshop series that will help you take back control of your health and finances. But don’t worry. I know it’s an expensive time of year, so it’s on me. All you need to do is enroll.
You can do that here.