How to Forgive Yourself and Why It’s Necessary

“I can’t believe you did that. How can I trust you? You’re a terrible person. I can never forgive you.”

These are devastating words that would pierce the heart of someone desperate for forgiveness. 

It is no different when you speak those words to yourself. Even though the mutter of those words may be subconscious, they can be just as crippling. 

Some of the most detrimental words you could ever say to yourself are the words you whisper in your heart… 

“I can never forgive myself.”

Yes, there are consequences to poor decisions and bad behavior. 

But the consequences of neglecting to own the choices you’ve made, forgiving yourself, and then moving the heck on can be even more detrimental. 

Denying yourself the forgiveness you deserve hurts you in the following ways…

  • It has a negative impact on your decisions 

  • You continue in a cycle of reliving your mistakes

  • You allow past choices and behaviors to paralyze you

  • You verbally abuse yourself in the privacy of your own heart

  • Your struggle with self-worth 

  • You’re afraid to take healthy risks

  • It’s a challenge for you to forgive others and to trust yours

If you don’t take a step back and really push through to identify what’s got you stuck in that unhealthy trap of unforgiveness, then it may take a devastating and life-altering experience to wake you up. 

Ask me how I know.

Cancer sucks, ya’ll. But that is what it took for me to wake up and smell the freakin’ coffee. And it completely changed everything about my life.

The very last thing any of us want is a health crisis, a death sentence, to lose someone we love, etc. to make us realize what’s truly the most important. 

As hard as it can be to have a smack-you-in-the-face conversation with yourself and work through the pieces of your past holding you captive in the prison of regret, it is likely that the other options I just mentioned will throw a tighter punch. 

Choose your hard, sister.

Journaling is a great place to start the healing process of self-forgiveness. Think hard about what’s keeping you from moving on. 

Next, consider what it is you’re holding on to… or what’s holding on to you. Call those shackles that are keeping you prisoner by name and write those suckers down.

Finally, where do you see yourself going and what action do you need to take to get there?

I know what I am about to say won’t surprise you. 

When you take care of yourself, you will realize what’s truly important and learn how to forgive yourself, how to move on from your past, and ultimately, how to heal.

Moral to this story???

Make self-care a priority.

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