For years, culture has taught you that your happiness is linked to your accomplishments.
- I’ll be happy when… I have a family.
- I’ll be happy when… we own a home.
- I’ll be happy when… I get that job promotion,
- I’ll be happy when… my business operates on auto-pilot.
You convince yourself that joy will be experienced when you achieve a goal, gain possession of something bigger and better than you already have, or when your circumstances improve.
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Heck, many of us are there right now – I’ll be happy when COVID is gone, I’ll be happy when life returns to normal, I’ll be happy when… – fill in the blank.
You can create your own “happy” right where you are, regardless of circumstances.
Genuine contentment is a deeply rooted sense of accepting (and appreciating) who you are, where you are, and what you have at any given moment.
We live so much of our days engrossed in our busy schedules and “to do” lists that we rarely take the time to realize where we are, let alone appreciate it.
If and when we do take the time to come up for air, we’re so distracted (and even consumed) with where we were or where we want to be that we neglect to pay attention to where we are in the “now”.
If you want to find contentment right where you are, regardless of your circumstances, you must take a hot minute to become fully aware of your present situation.
Oh, and can we stop playing the comparison game already, sister?
Theodore Roosevelt hit the nail on the head when he said…
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Let’s say it louder for the people in the back of the room, shall we? Comparison is the thief of joy.
Honestly, I blame social media for the comparison epidemic that haunts the women of our nation. It is constantly stirring the pot of discontent.
It’s so hard to avoid the “I wish I had…” or “I wish I was…” life-sucking conundrum when you spend unlimited time on social media.
How can you avoid comparing your life to others when their lives are in your face at the touch of an icon 24/7? You can pick your poison… there are platforms-a-plenty.
You want to experience true contentment with what you have and where you are? Get off social media, friend. Or, at best, set boundaries for yourself (and for your daughters).
Here are three more specific ways you can begin fostering contentment right here, right now…
- Be aware of what you already have – As Americans, we spend too much of our lives focused on the future that we rarely take the time to appreciate what we have. Take a step back and open your eyes and mind to the good that is happening in your life right now. Write those suckers down.
- Accept the things you cannot change – Now, let me clarify. This does not mean you passively accept all things the way they are. (That’s a topic for another blog. Stay tuned for next week.) You know me better than that. There is always room for improvement. Accepting the things you cannot change simply means you don’t force things to be a certain way. Instead, keep an open mind to the idea that there is more than one way to do something. You don’t have to live your life like everyone else. For real.
- Be patient – Allow things to unfold in their own time. Don’t manipulate or force things that may not be a part of the bigger picture. Allowing yourself permission and the grace to be patient will help you see you already have what you need to be content. Don’t let FOMO (fear of missing out) be the driving force of rash and impulsive decisions. Patience will help you make the right decision every time. Relieve yourself of the pressure to compete and give yourself some breathing room to let the chips fall where they may.
Is this an easy process? Ummm, no. But it is possible.
Regardless of your situation or circumstances, spend some time this week making a list of all the good things in your life… including those simple things like that hot cup of coffee that fueled your hectic morning or the random hugs and “I love you’s” you get from your twerpy teen.
Check out my book, The Sweet Spot, to learn how you can enjoy life more right where you are.